Cervelles au Beurre Noir, Cervello Arreganata, Hirn mit Ei

Source: 1000 Foods (pgs. 72 – 73, 178 – 179, 295)

            The above dishes are brains with blackened butter, brains baked with breadcrumbs, and brains with scrambled eggs. Personally I think they all sound gross, but through much of history, brains were a delicacy. Supposedly their high fat content gives them a rich flavor and creamy texture, but no matter how delicious they are, I’m not risking Mad Cow and other prion diseases. Even a very low chance of infection is not worth it. Health regulators seem to agree. Cow brains in particular are very hard to come by in the US, at least in an edible form.

            It’s considerably easier to get them as lab specimens. Preserved in formaldehyde, brains are available to order from lab supply companies. While potentially dangerous chemicals have restrictions on who can buy them and where they can be delivered, anyone with a credit card can order a cow brain and have it delivered to their doorstep. It would be even more inedible than it was before, but observing the cells with a microscope is an interesting experiment. I clearly remember comparing cells from pig brains with other cells in high school biology, but had no desire to eat them. They were slimy and generally didn’t look like anything like food.

            While I understand the virtue of nose to tail eating, eating brains is going way too far. Whatever goes into hot dogs is fine, since it’s salted, seasoned, and ground up to mask any weird flavors and textures. Oxtails are no problem. They make great stew. I could do pigs’ feet. They seem like a lot of work for not that much meat, but that’s no different than chicken wings. Even liver is a possibility if it’s cooked properly and heavily seasoned. Maybe. But brains are different. Once the animal is slaughtered, the brains belong in a lab, not on a plate.